Getting There FAST- Deleted from Beaches

Not sure about you, but there's a lot going on in my head.
While the one and only negative feeling I can detect is "fear", overall, I feel pretty good.
I'm excited about where I am. I'm excited about where you are.
I'm even okay about where are are, but not so much about where we're going.
I really do want to do the fast. I need the clarity, I want the direction.
I just don't know how I will handle strong conviction that it is time for us to operate any differently than we do now.
It's one thing for me to feel it. It's another to have divine revelation...that I asked for. I can't imagine that you aren't aware of the same possibility, so while I definitely want every drop of anointing on you there is to get, I find myself thinking, is she just trying to expedite the moment in which we learn that we have to separate? Is she ready to leave? Can I prepare myself for her to be in that place?
Is she "gone already"?
Evenings like last night make it that much harder. I could have laid there forever (charley horses and all!).

So, I'm a bit anxious right now. And yet, still excited about what lies ahead.
If I trust that God intends the best for us, I know I should not be afraid, but when I tell you I don't want to lose you... What an understatement.
I wish I could establish an agreement with the Holy Spirit that stipulated any revelation was fine as long as it reveals how WE can operate together for God's glory. LOL
Either that or the Holy Spirit would promise to convict us so strongly and overwhelmingly that we would't even look back. Unfortunately, that's not how life ususally works.

I don't think the Holy Spirit will reveal anything that I don't already see in the flesh. I think the Easter play is preparation for me.
Things are different. It's a hard pill to swallow, but I know that's really not so bad. I'm searching to find a way to maintain a unified spirit even with our separate calls. Seems easy enough in theory...

Anyway, that's what's on my mind.

It feels weird to feel you so close and miss you all at once.

I Need a GPS

Took this off of "our" blog. Wanted to remember what I said, though...

I NEED A GPS

Sitting in training with "bubble thoughts" floating around my head. Figured I'd blow them your way. =)
I'm not crazy, uber jealous or deranged...really, I'm not. I just kinda sorta wish I had a way of knowing for sure "where" you were. I don't know honestly that I could handle the twists and turns, but I guess I'm a glutton for the punishment truth brings. Sometimes I feel like the truth would be a surprisingly pleasant surprise. Sometimes I feel that my heart would be crushed by it. But that's life, right?
Anyway, I know you probably weren't prepared for me to love you and need you so wholly. Be careful what you ask for. LOL. I am still, thank God, able to appreciate our separate lives and unique perspectives. I just have this deep need to feel connected at all times. It's like a pacifier. Baby need bah-bah. =o)
One more thing: as much as I love your being there for me and getting better all the time at taking care of me, you gotta let me continue to be there for you too. I may be as awkward as you once were now that our roles are evolving, so it's important for me to feel that you receive and appreciate my attempts to be there for you, even if I miss the mark sometimes.
Somebody loves you! Off to the next session...